You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
