I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
