I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
His hands were made for my vagina.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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