I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
The power of my boobs compel you
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
