I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Randomize
