you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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