Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
