He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Randomize
