I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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