I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I got inside last night via doggy door
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
