Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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