what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
