Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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