i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Randomize
