he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
