Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Small penises have feelings too.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I just gargled with NyQuil
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
