I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
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