Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
