ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize
