For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
