I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
