I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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