I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
