This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
