the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Randomize
