I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
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