Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
