Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
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