Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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