woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
She needs sedatives and a leash
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
