I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
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