He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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