Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I think my vagina is haunted
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Randomize
