Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
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