ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
