My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
