I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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