yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
