thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
My ATM looks so different sober.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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