No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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