its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
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