Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize
