Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
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