I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
we should paint friendship bongs
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Randomize
