i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
