p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Randomize
