in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
