The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Randomize
