so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
