I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
