Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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