I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
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