in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Never underestimate the power of titties
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
