it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
