found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
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